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Using the microphone and ‘accelerometer’ to determine an accurate score, the app claims “All you have to do is start the application, put your i Phone on the bed, in an arm band, or even in your pocket and have intercourse, it is as easy as that.Once you are finished, press the stop button and view your results.” Romantic.The main one being that you’re probably a fucking eagle-eyed psychopath to use it in the first place.So you’ve tracked down future lovers on the road, Facebook and on your phone, but what about 30,000 feet in the air?Lickmyapp requires no download and encourages users to improve their oral skills with a choice of three different games, you can flick a light switch on and off, turn a crank or go freestyle – where you bounce a beach ball. You also have to remember to wrap your phone for protection first because it’s supposedly crawling with bacteria, yuck.Platewave bills itself as “the social network for UK drivers” and lets you message anyone, as long as you’ve got their vehicle registration number.A basic ‘Weekend Cassanova’ membership costs £225 per month, or you can splash out on the top level ‘International Playboy’ profile costing a mere £903 per month.
The main problem with the app is that joining the mile high club is probably a lot better as a fantasy than a reality – in reality your flight will just be full of hungover dehydrated adults, the occasional screeching stag or hen, and screaming children, which isn’t exactly the best pool to pick from. The app boasts that it will help you “bribe your way to a date”, by letting people exchange a bouquet of flowers, a romantic dinner, a shopping trip, or an outdoor adventure in exchange for a first date.
Pure is an app for those that want to enjoy Tinder but are too embarrassed or shy to put themselves out there.
Or who just want to hide the evidence that they’re into online hook-ups.
Want to ruin someone else’s relationship without the messy business of actually getting involved?
Check out some of the worst and weirdest dating and sex apps out there – for when OKCupid just isn’t going to cut it.
Then you can go online afterwards and see how well you did against the rest of the world – who needs pillow talk anyway?